Accustom to holding beach balls under the water I am drawn to the beauty of the blue skies, distracted, I feel the beach balls begin to move toward the surface, I notice and gently push them down further, keeping them moving with the rhythm of the ocean. Skies turn, the water churns, the beach balls are heavier, moving awkwardly under the surface. My attention briefly diverted to the rumbling of thunder, my heart beats faster, the beach balls are heavy, their strength increasing and without warning they thrust toward the surface. I use all my energy to hold them just under the water. Time passes, I wonder how much longer can I hold the beach balls under the surface, aching all over and exhausted, I wonder desperately where are the blue skies, why does my body feel so tired, unable to think clearly, I worry what will happen if these beach balls get away from me. How will I keep holding them and how can I let them go?